What if "Know, Like, Trust" is actually reciprocal?

Know. Like. Trust. You've heard it in marketing a million times. Maybe a billion times. And it's something we understand (to some degree).

We can't like something that we don't know.

And we won't trust something (or someone) that we don't like.

So we do a bunch of things in marketing so people know us, and like us. All for the purpose of trusting us enough to buy something.

And a lot of times, it ends at the purchase. Brands stop caring about people CONTINUING to trust them, get the money, and move on to the next one.

Grrrr...

Anyway, the point is, if we look at a real relationship, "know, like, trust" isn't just a one-way activity. It's bilateral.

You know me AND I know you.

You like me AND I like you.

You trust me AND I trust you.

But, what marketing activities can we look at that demonstrate those second pieces? Am I demonstrating that I know my target audience? Or am I just concerned with them "knowing what I do"? Am I demonstrating that I like my target audience? Or am I removing myself from them with technology with every chance I get? Am I demonstrating that I trust my target audience? Or have I convinced myself that, left to their own devices, they'll never make the best decision?

And that's just the questions that come up in the first pass.

The truth is, most brands are NOT concerning themselves with the second part of the equation that is, curiously enough, the only part of the equation that they control.

So, what if we spent more time on that second part of the equation?

That's what we're going to be exploring today.

Demonstrating "Know"

Most of us are familiar with the ways marketers today are measuring if our target audience knows us or not. And most of it comes back to that magic word, "visibility".

Impressions. Reach. Website traffic. Social media followers. Brand search volume. Share of voice. Content engagement. Earned media mentions.

We have SO many ways to measure whether people know we exist. And we spend a LOT of time, energy, and money trying to increase those numbers.

But here's where it gets interesting.

All of those metrics measure one direction. They measure whether our audience knows US. And that's fine. That's important. But if "know" is reciprocal...where's the other side?

What are we measuring to demonstrate that WE know THEM?

Think about it. In a real relationship, if someone said, "I need you to know who I am," but never once demonstrated that they knew anything about YOU...how would that feel? Probably not great. Probably a little one-sided. Maybe even a little self-absorbed.

Have you ever seen the Disney movie Ron's Gone Wrong? It's a great demonstration of this in practice.

When people expect us to be their friend, but aren't interested in being our friend in return, something breaks.

And yet, that's what a lot of marketing looks like right now.

We're so focused on "getting our name out there" that we forget to show people we actually care about what's going on in their world. Their challenges. Their language. Their context. Not the version of their challenges that we made up in a boardroom. The REAL ones.

And not because we want to collect their keywords.

But because we honestly care about them.

So what might it look like to demonstrate our desire to "know" them?

Maybe it's as simple as asking a question and actually listening to the answer instead of waiting for our turn to pitch.

Other people might feel the need to create a little checklist for you so you can do this. I don't. And honestly, that's the point. Because "knowing" someone isn't a checklist activity. It's an ongoing practice you do when you care about someone.

Here's a question worth sitting with: If your audience looked at your marketing today, would they feel cared for by you? Or would they just know OF you?

Demonstrating "Like"

OK so if "Know" is about visibility, "Like" is about affinity. And marketers have a whole suite of metrics for this one too.

Engagement rate. Likes (obviously). Comments. Shares. Saves. Follower growth. Email open rates. Click-through rates. Time on page. Repeat visits. NPS scores. Sentiment analysis.

Blimey, I'm tired just thinking about tracking all the metrics that are only answering one side of the question.

Because if "like" is reciprocal, the other question is: Are we demonstrating that we like THEM?

And this is where it gets a little uncomfortable.

Because if we're being honest, a LOT of what we do in marketing actually communicates the opposite. And how you use automation plays a big role here. Because an automation CAN demonstrate, "We'd rather not talk to you directly." Now, it can also help you get closer to your clients, but only if that's the intention you put behind it.

Let's talk about gated content for a minute. At this point, we all know gated content isn't about actually helping me; it's about collecting my data for YOU. The story people hear? "We like your data more than we like you."

When we make automation choices on efficiency only, this is what happens.

Now, I'm not saying all automation is bad. Absolutely it's not. The point is — what message is it sending? And are we paying attention to that message?

Think about a friendship where one person keeps finding ways to spend LESS time with the other person. Where every interaction gets a little more...managed. A little more distant. A little more transactional. How long before the other person stops feeling liked?

And yet, we keep optimizing for "engagement" while simultaneously removing ourselves from the engagement. We want people to interact with our brand, but we don't want to actually BE there when they do.

That's a weird kind of "like," isn't it?

So what might it look like to demonstrate that we actually like our audience?

Maybe it looks like showing up in the comments — not with a canned response, but with a real one. Maybe it looks like picking up the phone sometimes instead of sending the fourth automated email in a sequence. Maybe it looks like creating spaces where we're actually WITH our people instead of broadcasting AT them.

Or maybe it's something else entirely. Something that fits YOUR brand and YOUR people.

Because just like "knowing," "liking" someone isn't a formula. It's a choice. And people can feel the difference between a brand that genuinely enjoys its community and one that's just trying to get them to click.

So, what might you ask in this arena? If your audience looked at your marketing today, would they feel like you like them? Or would they just feel managed?

Demonstrating "Trust"

Now we're getting to the big one. If "Know" is about visibility and "Like" is about affinity, "Trust" is about credibility. And oh boy, do marketers have metrics for this.

Conversion rates. Sales revenue. Customer retention rate. Repeat purchase rate. Customer lifetime value. Referral rates. Testimonials and reviews. Case study engagement. Free trial to paid conversion. Contract renewal rates.

All of these are measuring one thing: whether our audience trusts US enough to take action. To buy. To stay. To recommend.

And again...that's fine. That matters. But if trust is reciprocal, the other question is: Are we demonstrating that we trust THEM?

This might be the most uncomfortable flip of the three.

Because a LOT of marketing is built on the assumption that people can't be trusted to make good decisions on their own. That without our urgency timers, our countdown clocks, our "only 3 left in stock" banners, our 47-step retargeting sequences...they'll just wander off and never come back.

Think about that for a second. We're asking people to trust us while simultaneously building systems that communicate, "We don't trust you to make this decision without being pressured into it."

In a real relationship, what do we call it when someone says "trust me" but then tries to control your every move? When they need to monitor everything, create fake urgency, and won't give you space to think?

That's not trust. That's the opposite of trust.

And yet, so much of what we call "conversion optimization" is really just...sophisticated control.

The fine print that's designed to be hard to read. The cancellation process that's deliberately frustrating. The pricing page that's intentionally confusing so you just pick the one they highlighted for you. What message is all of that sending?

I know better. So trust me to take care of it for you.

Let's not even talk about the marketing narratives focused on convincing you that you can't trust yourself, so just trust me instead 😡

So what might it look like to demonstrate that we actually trust our audience?

Maybe it looks like making our pricing stupidly clear. Maybe it looks like telling someone, "Hey, honestly, we might not be the best fit for you right now — here's someone who might be." Maybe it looks like giving people the full picture and trusting them to make a decision without a countdown timer breathing down their neck.

What would you do?

Because just like knowing and liking, trusting someone isn't a tactic. It's a choice. And people can feel the difference between a brand that trusts them to be adults and one that's trying to manipulate them into a decision.

Here's the question for this one: If your audience looked at your marketing today, would they feel that you trust them to do what's right for them? Or would they feel pressured?

Making Trust Real

When two people genuinely know each other, genuinely like each other, and genuinely trust each other...something shifts. There's an energy there. And it's not about one person having all the answers and the other person having all the problems.

It's about co-creation.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone where you're both leaning in? Where one person says something and the other person builds on it, and then the first person takes THAT and builds on it, and suddenly you're somewhere neither of you could have gotten alone?

That's the energy I'm talking about.

It's not "I have the solution, let me convince you to buy it." It's not even "Let me build the solution from scratch just for you." It's something in between. Something more like, "I've got something. You've got something. Let's see what happens when we bring those things together."

And when that happens? The solution isn't just better. It FITS better. For both parties. Because it wasn't created in a vacuum by one side trying to guess what the other side needed. It was shaped by both people showing up with what they had and being willing to figure it out together.

That's what reciprocal Know, Like, Trust can lead to.

Not just a transaction. Not just a "customer journey." But an actual relationship where both sides are contributing, both sides are invested, and both sides walk away better for it.

And honestly? That's not some impossible ideal. It's just what happens when we stop treating people like targets and start treating them like partners.

So here's the last question — maybe the only one that matters:

What would your marketing look like if you treated your audience like someone you were building something WITH, instead of someone you were selling something TO?

I'll leave you to ruminate on that one :)

And if you want a Partner to explore it with, let's chat!