The Myth of "Owning" Your Marketing Leads

Since I still won't get the paid version of Duolingo (as much as I LOVE the app and it continues to help me build my Spanish skills), I get ads. And this week, they seem to all be about the danger of lead generation on social media - and the benefit of email marketing - with regard to "owning" your leads.

There's a whole funnel of issues with the concept of assuming that having someone's email address means you "own" the lead. Let's get right to it.

Email Collection ≠ Ownership

Ok, so let's say your clever marketing team has a Lead Magnet that collects email addresses. Who actually owns the email address? That would be the person to whom it belongs.

And who has the power to change that email address at any time?

Or cancel their account at any time?

Or create an email address that is purely for email sign-ups for which they have no intention of ever doing business? (because none of us have done that, right?)

NOT YOU.

Best case scenario, a list of email addresses is a collection. A collection of something that has a best before date.

So, that's problem one.

Email Funnels ≠ Ownership

Commonly, people assume that once they've capture your email address, they'll use it to "nurture" a relationship with you. But these traditional marketing funnels reduce people to conversion paths, and trust just doesn't work that way.

We focus on CTA's, and the number of people going into the funnel; yet we've all been the person going IN to the funnel. The person who ignores the email chain.

And WHY do we do that?

Because the person who has our email address hasn't built trust yet.

And it doesn't happen in an email funnel.

I mean, have YOU ever built a relationship with someone purely via email?

Now, notice I didn't ask whether or not you bought a product. Because potentially you have. But likely that product was something you would consider a frivolous purchase. Something that looked cool, that had a price point well within whatever you personally define as "mad money". Your Starbucks budget, for example.

But that purchase doesn't necessarily create a relationship. Or even an additional transaction (if the experience of the first one ends up being poor).

When we look at the concept of "ownership", or as my friend Paul Haury likes to define it as, "anyone you would consider MINE" (my teacher, my coach, my friend, my son, my hair dresser), there is an inherent level of trust there.

I mean, do you call Amazon "MY Amazon"?

Probably not. Or at least, I don't.

But that's different for MY local coffee shop. Where I go as often as possible. From whom I have NEVER received an email; even a coupon 😉

THAT'S what belonging looks like. And THAT'S when we can start to talk about ownership.

Because TRUST isn't just a funnel stage.

It's something a person FEELS.

Or doesn't.

Problem two.

List Size ≠ Ownership

Now, when it comes to the collection of email addresses - and this one can be extended to the number of connections people make on social media as well - brands are often concerned about the SIZE of the list.

But let's look at this from the perspective of a garden, shall we?

Let's say you have a small 4ft x 4ft garden bed. There are a certain amount of plants you can plant in there, based on their size, root systems, water needs, sun needs, etc.

So, you can plant the appropriate amount of seeds, tend it caringly, and have a beautiful garden.

Except that not what people tend to do with marketing.

We say, "put as many seeds in that plot of land as possible! More, More, MORE!!!"

And eventually, the viability of the seeds erode.

Many die. Maybe all of them.

Because we didn't actually care about the seeds flourishing.

We cared about a vanity metric.

And let's think about this from the seed's perspective for a moment.

What do you think their experience is?

One of many, that the gardener doesn't actually care about.

Does that lead toward a trust relationship?

Heck no.

Problem three.

Possession ≠ Ownership

And we can't forget to talk about attribution, right? Because we all want to be able to say that Marketing brought in that lead.

But Sales also wants to be able to say that.

When we get into the battle of "who own's the lead", if we we're talking about REAL ownership, it would be easy to attribute...

Because the lead themselves - the PERSON - would be able to tell you WHO they have a relationship with. And they would use a person's NAME.

My account rep. Or just, "Tracy".

And I always find it hilarious for companies to believe that leads are "passed" to different departments through the funnel.

Either you have a relationship with a person, or you don't.

Relationships don't get passed.

You might be able to more easily build a relationship with someone else because they trust someone who has introduced them to you.

But the person with the original relationship retains that relationship.

Yes, even once they leave your business.

You can make people sign agreement's that say they won't steal employees or leads when they leave your organization, but that doesn't mean the connections disappear. Right?

Problem four.

Ok, let's stop there for today (although I could probably come up with more problems), and look at what we can do differently instead...

Invest in Stewardship vs. Ownership

First of all, let's define what stewardship is for the purposes of this conversation:

Stewardship is the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care.

Ah, I just love that definition, don't you?

So, when we use that definition in relation to leads, we’re talking about treating a person not as a transaction, but as a human being whose trust is a privilege; and that trust must be earned and maintained by SOMEONE.

And I'll tell you now, even your most intelligent automated system DOESN'T CARE if a human trusts it or not.

But especially in B2B or service-led sales, this is CRITICAL.

Because if you're people don't feel or care for YOU, how likely are they to remain a client?

You EARN that trust by GIVING it first.

BEFORE extracting value.

BEFORE you get an immediate gain (or sale).

And dare I say, BEFORE you even get their email.

Because it makes someone WANT to go somewhere with you.

To listen to you.

To be empathetic to your needs.

To respect you.

In stewardship, we are " in this together".

And even if you move (countries or businesses), the relationship remains.

Even if you haven't seen or spoken to eachother in years, the relationship remains.

Even if you have no more reason to do business together, the relationship remains.

And 👆 THAT'S something two humans get to carry with them forever.

And 👆 THAT'S what people enjoy holding on to 💖

A Journey to Belonging

So, what if, instead of building another "ideal client funnel", you explored a Relationship Arc?

One that includes:

• Recognition (I see you)

• Respect (I listen to you)

• Relevance (I adapt to you)

• Resonance (I co-create with you)

A journey of belonging. Of community.

That doesn't disappear as soon as you stop giving them a price discount 💡

In a world that is overwhelmed by outreach, spam and a multitude of things to scroll past, belonging is the ultimate differentiator.

The REAL ownership in any relationship.

And when you can start to associate your business growth NOT by database size, but by your ability to help someone feel seen, heard and cared for, well THEN, my friends, you're really cooking with gas🔥

If you're down to create THAT kind of impact, let's chat.