Reality vs. Delusional Optimism: are they really opposites?

Yesterday on Collective Contribution TV an interesting conflict arose. Paola Piccinno started sharing about some hard realities (around 42 minutes in if you want to check out the convo), followed by an ask for someone to turn it around into a positive. Following an earlier conversation where Emanuel Tsiris spoke about Delusional Optimism, the contrast was particularly interesting. And enough for me to think it was worth exploring further.

Hence, today's article. Where we're exploring reality and positivity / optimism and whether they are, in fact, two different things.

My perspective? No.

Understanding Reality

I've had quite a few conversations about this with my very smart colleague, Mark Stouse. And if you want to deep-dive the concept, make sure you get on his Substack subscription. But from a high level, there's an important assumption to challenge:

Reality looks dark. Positivity feels light. Hence, they must be opposites.

But perhaps the most interesting piece of the puzzle isn't even that we consider them opposites. It's that we consider them SEPARATE.

That somehow, light comes from the absence of dark.

But what if our understanding of light actually comes from our experience of dark?

Our experience of complementary forces. Not forces that cancel each other out.

And when it comes to Collective Contribution, there's an opportunity, when things look most dark, for someone else to bring the complementary force.

But ONLY IF we're willing to acknowledge what's already there.

Delusional Optimism: A Warning

Recently, I've become intrigued with the concept of being delusional. While in general, being delusional is considered BAD (based on definitions like THIS from Oxford Dictionaries), I wonder if there's something useful hiding in the concept. Because sometimes the things we imagine are SO far removed from our current Reality that they might seem completely delusional. Which is what makes imagination so critical when trying to solve problems we have no idea how to solve today.

The trick is whether or not we allow it to define how we engage with reality. Because if we're not careful, we can give ourselves permission to ignore reality.

Again, it becomes clear that these two things are not in fact opposite, but are components in the same equation.

So, what happens when we take Delusional Optimism (delusional only to the point where our imagination is turned on) and ADD it to Reality? What then?

Adding Possibility to Reality

Here's the interesting thing about Reality...it tells us what IS, because of what WAS. But it can't tell us everything about what COULD BE.

On the flip side, imagination on its own doesn't necessarily tell us what's REAL. It gives us PERMISSION to explore things that don't currently exist.

So, what happens when we put them together?

What if we could look at a situation, understand (and accept) the Reality of it (even when it's not particularly pleasant), and THEN use our imagination to explore what else might be possible?

Not because we're pretending the Reality doesn't exist. But because there is something BEYOND it that we understand we can't know today.

It's about CREATING what comes next ✨

The Collective Contribution Component

Now, when it comes to creating, I think we all know there's X I can accomplish on my own. And when I add more resources (the Collective), I get 2X, or perhaps even something exponentially greater.

But when we're left to create alone—like I think a lot of leaders assume they are—we can be so deep in the Reality of a situation that we can't see past it. Or, on the flip side, we can be so excited about a possibility we're not paying enough attention to the Reality standing in its way.

Personally, I've found myself in BOTH of those places.

And I suspect I'm not alone.

We could look at that and assume the path is to find ways for us to handle that alone. But what if it's actually a call to invest in each other's unique contributions.

That's what happened on CCTV this week.

One person brought the Reality. And another added Possibility into the mix, without denying the Reality.

Together, we created a new way of engaging with Reality.

Dare I say, an Optimistic way of engaging with Reality ✨

Moving THROUGH, Together

I think that's the piece we often miss when we're faced with something difficult.

Our instinct can be to get OUT of it as quickly as possible. To find the silver lining. Or to look on the bright side. And I get it. Who WANTS to spend more time in the dark than they have to?

But what if the way out isn't actually OUT?

What if it's THROUGH?

Through the uncomfortable conversations. Through the things we don't understand. Through the realizations that what we thought was true might not be true anymore.

And what if we didn't have to find our way through all of that by ourselves?

This brings me back to Paola's ask during the conversation. Because bringing the Reality to the room can sometimes feel hard. But what if you already believe that someone else on the journey with you can add something that creates the possibility of ease? Or positivity? Or perhaps even Delusional Optimism?

Isn't that an active choice to work Together to get to the other side?

Because what if that light at the end of the tunnel we're looking for isn't something we FIND?

What if it's something we CREATE?

Together 💞

So, let me end with this...

Who are you willing to look at Reality with? And who are you willing to Create Possibility with?

With that combo in the room, who knows what we might create?

Perhaps that's just my Delusional Optimism talking 😉